So why would a professional counselor, with a PhD, treat his wife and family in a way contrary to all of his education and training? Ironically, in need of the kind of help you would expect his training to provide? Part of the answer is spiritual, since we are all guilty of being prideful.
"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." (https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/mosiah/3.19?lang=eng#p18)
It is something more than that though, this kind of behavior goes much deeper and it has to do with brain chemistry.
Depression messes with your brain. You get to the point where you literally aren't thinking clearly. Descriptions of what it's like trying to function with depression are similar to descriptions for symptoms of Alzheimer's Disease and Dimentia.
Addiction also messes with your brain. Pornography impairs your thinking and reasoning ability. The addicted brain causes changes in behavior.
If you suffer from addiction, use caution when learning more about the harmful effects because reading about it can be a trigger.
"The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior. Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to unworthy behavior. That is why we stress so forcefully the study of the doctrines of the gospel."
(https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1986/10/little-children?lang=eng)
You can download a free copy of the addiction recovery 12 step guidebook both as a PDF or MP3.
(https://addictionrecovery.lds.org/home?lang=eng)
You can also get a free copy by going to one of the 12 step meetings.
(https://addictionrecovery.lds.org/?lang=eng)
Whether or not you have addictions, the program is designed for self-improvement in overcoming character flaws and weakness. Unless you are already perfect, you can benefit from the program.
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."
(https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/ether/12.27?lang=eng#p26)
One of the best ways to augment your recovery, as you work through the 12 steps and then repeat (once you hit step 12 - you start again back on step 1, each time you go through the steps you will gain something new, you will also gain valuable insights from others by going to the meetings, use caution when sharing advice - what works for you might not work for someone else and could cause them to get discouraged when your advice doesn't work for them), is to read daily in the Book of Mormon. There is great power in consistent daily study.
"It is not just that the Book of Mormon teaches us truth, though it indeed does that. It is not just that the Book of Mormon bears testimony of Christ, though it indeed does that, too. But there is something more. There is a power in the book which will begin to flow into your lives the moment you begin a serious study of the book. You will find greater power to resist temptation. You will find the power to avoid deception. You will find the power to stay on the strait and narrow path. The scriptures are called “the words of life” (D&C 84:85), and nowhere is that more true than it is of the Book of Mormon. When you begin to hunger and thirst after those words, you will find life in greater and greater abundance."
(https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1986/10/the-book-of-mormon-keystone-of-our-religion?lang=eng)
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