I am a child of God.

Is it okay to be adopted or have step-parents/bonus parents? Yes, it's okay to have more than one set of parents since we already do; we have a Heavenly Father and an earthly father. In a way, WE ARE ALL ADOPTED since our true parent is Heavenly Father. Your spiritual pedigree can be written on a single line: You are a child of God. You were already nobility and royalty even prior to your birth. Your true family of origin is where you came from before you were born. You are His child.

What is it like for a birth parent to have someone else raise their child? Isn't this exactly the decision that God made in allowing us to have a mortal existence? As earthly parents, we apprentice what it is like to be a father and a mother. (For some, who remain faithful, this blessing may be fulfilled after this life.) Because Satan does not have and will never have a physical body, he will never experience what this is like. No wonder then that he tries to sabotage the family and sow confusion about the divine nature and calling assigned to us with gender. Satan is jealous of what he can never have.

As earthly parents, we don't have to parent alone. Heavenly Father is our co-parent. Some of the needs of children are met through earthly parents, most of them are not. Heavenly Father continues to be our most important parent. Many of our needs can only be met through Him.

Moderation does not mean all or nothing

What do you use as an escape from stress? For some, their escape becomes all consuming. Some escapes are destructive, others are socially accepted. For many men, their escape is sports. They live sleep, eat, drink, and breathe football, basketball, and anything else which might be considered a sport. For women, some of them find escape in romance novels or by making dust collectors which they refer to as "crafts." For others, their escape is pets. Since a pet is demanding of time and attention, it provides a socially accepted way of gaining an everyday escape from devoting time and attention which might otherwise have been given to people in our lives. If you struggle relating to your spouse but would never think of getting a divorce and are not willing to work on your relationship in order to have a better marriage, having pets might be the way to mask how you really feel and shift focus away from your deliberate neglect. Children only serve this purpose for so long but they eventually grow up. If you have pets, you can use them indefinitely as a buffer since you can always just get another pet each time that one of them dies. Video and computer games can be an escape but they are not socially accepted in the same way as having pets or following sports. Even when much less time is spent doing electronic gaming than others might spend watching sports, it is often seen as "wasting time." You hear people give advice for others to "take some time to rest and relax", "take some time for yourself", or take some time to "fill your bucket" since you won't have the emotional energy to help fill the emotional bucket of others if yours is empty. It is difficult to take care of your own mental health without having feelings of guilt. Is it okay to "waste time" or are we trying to justify bad behavior so we don't feel guilty? If it's important to your mental health, is it really wasted time or is it time well spent in order to keep us from eventual suicide due to feelings of hopelessness and depression? How do we justify "wasting time" when others may not realize it is essential to our mental health and will point out to us better things we ought to be doing? How do we know if we really do need an escape or whether we are just using that as an excuse? Why do we feel guilty when we take care of our own needs so that we are more able to and more capable of taking care of others? Often this comes from "all or nothing thinking." Taken to an extreme, even good and positive things can put our lives out of balance. Occasional sports may not be bad unless following them becomes the only thing that we do. We can plan time for them and place limits for ourselves without needing to sacrifice them completely. Do we prioritize, set aside, and plan a few minutes for social media, and then stick to our self imposed limits, or do we spend hours upon hours of mindless scrolling and internet surfing? Do we maintain an electronic curfew? Do we turn off all electronics at least 30 minutes prior to bedtime or do we allow them to interfere with settling down and getting ourselves ready to sleep. If we wake up in the night, do we maintain our electronic curfew until after time to get up or do we allow them to invade time when we ought to be resting even if we don't fall immediately back to sleep? Setting a daily schedule can be daunting at first until it becomes a habit. Planners and organizers can do the work for us if we are willing to use them and spend a few minutes each week planning out a schedule. Schedules can be adjusted as you go but having a plan is important even when things don't usually go as planned. This is also true of managing money. Keeping track of spending helps you make better use of money in a similar way to how scheduling helps you make better use of time. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can plan and "budget" some of your time for watching sports, etc. as long as you make sure that your other time "expenditures" are planned for and taken care of. One effective way for losing weight is keeping a food journal. The simple accountability of writing down whatever we eat can influence our choices. Tracking time spent can be a good starting point if you are not sure how best to budget your time. There are free printable weekly planners or you can make one of your own. Find what works for you and then make a point of scheduling time for leisure. You will know how much time you can afford to spend toward maintaining your mental health once you start planning out how you spend your time. If you struggle at first, get help. Look up resources or go to a time management training. Start small and simple at first if planning in minute detail is too daunting. Read books about coping with ADHD. Methods of coping with ADHD are often good ways for people in general to cope with the demands of life. Try to get past all or nothing thinking when what you, more appropriately, need instead is simply to find a healthy balance. You can have a job, and a family, and still have time for leisure and taking care of your own mental health. Read daily in the Book of Mormon. You will think better and more clearly if you have the help and inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Also, don't forget to pray. God is the Heavenly Father of your spirit. You lived with Him before you were born. He cares about and loves you. He will help you if you ask.

Serenity

Serenity is the name of a science fiction movie released in 2005, as a follow-up to the television series Firefly. The show has been described as exploring the idea, "What if Han Solo never met Luke and Leia?"

The Serenity Prayer is a prayer authored by Reinhold Niebuhr (which is unrelated to the Serenity movie):
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

In other words, learn to let go of trying to control things that you cannot control. This is not easy to do. Many of us stress and worry about things which are external. Often, these fears are imagined and unrealistic. Instead of living in reality, we tend to live in a fantasy version of existence where we imagine that we are powerful enough to control the actions, decisions, and choices of those around us. This leads to unhealthy, dysfunctional behaviors when we try to control things which we cannot (and should not try to) control.

Have you heard of "unrighteous dominion"? It is another term for tyranny. It means the abuse of power, whether actual or perceived. It is the basis for trying to impose our will. It is the basis for the Marxist ideas of using force and violence, whether actual or implied, in an effort to control those around us.

It can be very subtle. Unrighteous dominion can be disguised as self-righteousness and manifest itself as trying to help. Born of arrogance and pride, (because we think that we know better than they do what they ought to be doing) we try to control others in order to save them from themselves.

This type of behavior leads to power struggles and frustration. Sometimes, we blame ourselves for the poor decisions and choices of others and feel guilt and remorse for things which are beyond our control. We feel responsible for them which can lead to depression or lead us to become social justice warriors in order to fix what we perceive to be broken. Instead of leaving it to the Lord, we may attempt to become someone's personal savior whether they like it or not. We try to rescue them from making their own choices and decisions. Ironically, switching sides to that of the enemy in continuation of the war in heaven.

It is a delicate balance which must be taken when we are in positions of authority in order to not overstep.

Many of our desires to control are fueled by misunderstanding the Atonement. We underestimate the scope and power of the Savior to heal. Our frustrations can be healed completely and we can be given peace. We can fix what is wrong, not by controlling others, but through allowing ourselves to be healed. We often make false choices for ourselves in binary thinking when there is another and better solution. Letting go is not enough. It is just the beginning. We also need to learn how to be made whole and allow our frustrations to be healed. The Atonement does bring about resurrection and forgiveness from sin but also provides so much more.

Part of why we are here is to learn how to be spiritually and emotionally healed and to choose to allow it. Unlike many of His mortal children, God does respect our agency and will not heal us against our will. Life only seems unfair because we are required to live by faith in order to learn and grow and to maximize the many many daily ways in which we can be blessed. We are often surprised and disappointed when bad things happen. There are no surprises to God. He already knew and already had a plan for us to overcome the effects of anything negative in this life. The effects of evil need never be permanent. When we need Him, and sincerely pray, God has provided the way for us to be completely healed.

God respects free will

There is a warning given in scripture: "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you." (Matthew 7:6). There is a tendency by those who have neither knowledge nor experience (with things of the Spirit) to discount and ridicule them out of hand, without seeking to experiment or validate for themselves whether they might be true. In this life, we are allowed to choose for ourselves so we can learn and grow from our experience.
There is a promise in the Book of Mormon: "Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts. And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. And whatsoever thing is good is just and true; wherefore, nothing that is good denieth the Christ, but acknowledgeth that he is. And ye may know that he is, by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore I would exhort you that ye deny not the power of God; for he worketh by power, according to the faith of the children of men, the same today and tomorrow, and forever." (Moroni 10: 3-7).
If you have met with missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, they have likely extended this promise and invitation to you (as given in Moroni chapter 10).
If you have not reflected on it, I would invite you to ponder about what it means to ask God with "a sincere heart, with real intent". God respects our agency. He will reveal divine truths to us if it is something we truly want to know. God will force no man to heaven. If we are not sincere (meaning we do not really want to know the answer), God will respect our agency and wait for us to decide whether to pray with real intent. If we are stubborn in our self-sufficient pride, wanting to figure it out on our own (without His help), we may struggle for years unaided until we are ready to finally be humble enough that we actually want an answer.
According to legend, a man came to Socrates seeking knowledge. Socrates pushed this man's head under water until the man struggled for air. Socrates told this man that when he wanted knowledge as desperately as he wanted air, he would have knowledge. There is great power in consistent daily study of the Book of Mormon. Once we know the Book of Mormon is true, we also know that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God because it was through God's power that Joseph was able to translate the book. If the Book of Mormon is true then the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only church authorized by God to perform baptism. If the Book of Mormon is true then Russell M. Nelson is God's prophet on the earth today.
The story in the Book of Enos (within the Book of Mormon) is very instructive. It is also important to remember what drove Enos to pray with such urgency that he cried unto the Lord. Enos cried all the day long unto the Lord and when the night came Enos still continued to cry. Enos wrestled and cried mightily unto the Lord because he needed remission of his sins. Enos needed forgiveness. When God answered the prayer of Enos, the guilt of Enos was swept away. It was such a miracle and a relief that Enos said, "Lord, how is it done?" It is true that bad things happen in the world but God already planned for them and prepared for us a Savior. We can be healed completely and made whole. The effects of evil need not be permanent. We can receive the joy experienced by Enos if that is what we truly want.
We are free to choose for ourselves what it is that we truly want. If we don't truly want to be happy, and are unwilling to let go of sin, God allows us to make the choice. He waits patiently for us and has provided the way for us to be healed. All of the effects of pain, anguish or anything that we can suffer can be overcome. When bad things happen, this is not a surprise to God. He planned for it from the beginning and provided the way for us to be healed. The Book of Mormon testifies of Christ and brings us to our Savior so that we can be healed and made completely whole.
Baptism is symbolic of the death, burial and resurrection of our Savior. It represents the death of our old life and the start of a new life as we allow ourselves to be healed. The purifying influence of the Holy Ghost is available to us according to God's plan which provides our Savior as a sacrifice for sin.
There are many things which people can and do suffer in this life. We can be healed and be made whole. The effects of anything that can be suffered can be completely overcome. Part of why we are here in mortality is to learn how to heal and how to allow ourselves to be healed. This is part of being born again - when we choose to be made whole instead of holding onto hurt and anger and pride. God is a tender loving parent who has provided the way for this to happen but never against our will. It is up to us to choose. We must decide what it is that we truly want. God has a plan for each of us to be as happy as we are willing to allow. We are His children. He is the Father of our spirit. We lived with Him before this life. God loves us very dearly. He hears and answers our sincere prayers.

Hold to the Rod

Traveling through mortality, we can outwardly appear as though physically on dry ground when spiritually and emotionally we are as if swimming through a stormy ocean. Sometimes we go under and, in the chaos of our flailing, we may drag others down as well. Unless we hold tight to the iron rod (symbolic of God's word), having the Lord and Redeemer as our foundation, we are spiritually drowning. Sometimes people go their whole lives, seeking things which can never satisfy, as they struggle along unaided. Like stubbornly independent little children, we sometimes grab hold only to let go as our head just clears the water. Immanuel, the Anointed, ever-patiently waits to save us the very moment we become willing to reach out and let Him raise us up.

Poor people eat creamy peanut butter

Years ago, I was divorced and paying child support. I lived in a small apartment and couldn't afford a car. Fortunately, I lived within walking distance of work. Even so, my food budget was often $20 or less a week. That amount did not change during times when I had my three children (since I ended up being the noncustodial parent). Even very basic food became a precious resource. I realized that creamy peanut butter could be spread thinner than chunky. I started keeping bread in the fridge and freezing any that would not get eaten right away. I returned milk immediately to the fridge after using it rather than letting it sit out at all on the table. I could not afford to have anything spoil. Even today, grocery shopping is a traumatic experience because it brings back memories of that time. I had my children with me often as my ex-wife wanted the financial benefit of receiving child support but without the responsibility of being a parent. I was happy to have my children with me, whenever I was not at work, and she was happy to leave them.
Prior to our separation, she had refused to watch them. She decided she could not handle taking care of them because of "everything she was going through" (ie. dealing with feelings of guilt from being unfaithful to our marriage). I was a stay at home dad for six months. I became successful at meal planning and housekeeping and was surprised to find out that I had it within me to become quite good at being a homemaker. It was nice to know that I could be equally good at being in the "traditional mother role" as I had been in the role of traditional father. Other than the sadness I felt about my wife being unfaithful, it was enjoyable to have that time with the children. Several women with children noticed me with mine and expressed interest in setting up play dates such as going on walks together with our children or meeting them at the park. Each time that happened I politely declined because I was not yet divorced and wanted to avoid possible situations which could lead to more than play dates. Despite my wife being unfaithful, I was still loyal to our marriage.
My wife became increasingly more defiant and brazen about being unfaithful. She would be gone all night long, trying to pick up guys in dance clubs and bars, and come home very late the next morning reeking of cigarette smoke and alcohol (I don't know that she started smoking or drinking, she may have just picked up the smell from being around it). She bragged about her favorite jeans being her "getting lucky pants". She went to a work party and took her boyfriend instead of me even though we were still married. I did not hold her accountable for her behavior because I did not want to be in any way the cause of our divorce. I had not yet given up all hope that she might repent and change. Eventually words of a church hymn, "Do what is right and let consequence follow...", kept coming into my mind and I finally asserted myself enough to tell her it was not fair to me or the children for her to be gone all night long, not knowing if she was okay.
After divorcing, I had the additional expense of child support on top of my other living expenses. The tax code does not take this into account and I paid taxes the same as if I was single and did not have children. My ex-wife received that money tax free. She got fired from one job after another and could not hold a job. She became dependent on help from the church to supplement the child support money she received. This ended up being a blessing because it gave her at least some contact with the church.
I also received food a few times from the church. When it was just for me I was too prideful to ask for help but, when it came to the children, I would not make them go without because of my pride. It was my job to provide for them whether directly through my own income or through seeking assistance. I made sure my children's needs were met.